They were a young couple who hadn’t been married for very long. Both had lawyers. Like most litigants — the legal term for the divorcing couple — they looked uncomfortable.
“My client believes that permanent alimony is necessary to the extent that she’ll need medication for the rest of her life,” said her lawyer.
At that time, ten years was around when permanent alimony was an option; before ten it was less likely, after ten more likely. These kids looked like they’d been starting high-school ten years ago; the request made no sense.
“Huh?” asked the Judge. “What’d he do that she now needs meds for life?”
“He admits to giving her herpes during the marriage.”
The judge laughed, looked at the young man, and said “I’d like to have been there for that dinner conversation.” The divorce lawyers — family law attorneys, as they like to call themselves — barely looked up. She started crying; he looked like he was going to faint.
Welcome to Family Court. The non-court. The court of equity, a legal term meaning fairness. The original Court of Equity was called the Chancery; its origins trace back to the medieval “Star Chamber” where the landed gentry — the rich and powerful — tortured people as part of their trials in the name of fairness. They seemed to always find that what was in the best interests of the landed gentry was also most fair. Some things never change.
Waiting for another hearing a man was asking for a continuation of his divorce trial, scheduled in two weeks, because he’d undergone open-heart surgery a week before. Motion denied; the court has a schedule to keep. If the guy wasn’t already visibly green, looking like he was going to die any minute, that would have done it. Fairness? Not if it means disrupting the calendar.
We want to hear your stories about divorce court, about the family law system. We’re well aware it’s a dysfunctional mess, but by expressing your own stories you’ll help others who wonder if they’ve fallen through the looking glass.
I’m Michael, a co-founder of idivorce.com. I’ll also relay my own story, one of the wildest I’ve ever heard. The facts are literally insane; they sound made up. So I’ll post lots of documentation. Assuming my ex-wife, a web vet like me, wants to tell her side she’s welcome to do so; this is an open invite and a promise not to edit anything.
Along the way I’ll also show what the various pleadings are. Pleadings is a term for the legal papers submitted to the court. I’ll upload examples and explain how they’re used, what they mean, and when necessary add historical perspective. Laws vary between states but the principles are usually similar.
Besides litigants we’d also like to hear from family law attorneys, divorce lawyers. You made this mess; explain it to “regular” people. Articulate a clear vision, explain the history of the system, show why it’s the best of many possible bad alternatives, and you’re likely to garner new clients.